I'm taking a break from my
usual blog style to shed some light on an issue that is very personal
to me. Mental illness.
Mental illness encompasses a
whole variety of disorders: Schizophrenia, bi-polar, insomnia,
anorexia, bulimia, Tourette's syndrome, OCD, phobias, Dissociative
Identity Disorder (multi-personality disorder, which is completely
different from schizophrenia), autism, Capgras syndrome (a delusion
that loved ones have been replaced by identical-looking imposters),
dementia, depression, Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD)...
All that I have listed
above, and more, is involved when one sees the term, 'mental
illness'. It is a very, very wide spectrum.
One in five Canadians will
experience mental illness in their lifetime. I am part of that one in
five. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) when I
was thirteen, and I have suffered from depression off and on since I
was a child. I was on Ritalin for my ADD until I was about 14, when I
made a decision to stop taking it once my prescription ran out. While
the medication had it's benefits, if I didn't take it at the right
time, it interfered with my sleep patterns and made me feel like I
had just consumed five cups of really strong coffee. I have been off
Ritalin for 12 years and, while I have my bad days, I have lived with
my ADD. I have it; it does not have me.
I had my first bout of
depression at the age of eight. My mother had been working days, and
was always home when I got home from school. But, she had taken an
evening shift at work, and was, suddenly, no longer home when I got
home. I do not handle sudden change very well, and I didn't know how
to handle not having her home. I entered a state of depression and my
grades dropped as a result. I no longer got the same enjoyment out of
life as I used to. At eight, I had no idea what I was going through
and it was both confusing and scary. When my mom went back to working
a day shift, everything went back to normal.
My second bout of depression
occurred at age twelve, and for the same reason the first one had. My
mother took a 4pm-midnight shift at work, and again, wasn't home.
Like before, I only saw her on the weekends when she wasn't working
and I wasn't at school. That wasn't enough for me. I wanted her to be
home when I got home. Again things were suddenly not the same as they
had been. It took a toll on my grades and my emotional state until my
mom's shift went back to the way it had been.
My last bout with depression
took the biggest toll on me and my outlook on life and the people in
it. Seven years ago, I was raped by
my boyfriend at the time. The stigma surrounding rape told me it was
my fault, and the amount of shame I felt was downright crippling. The
stigma told me to keep it to myself because I would end up being
blamed. So, I did, until I couldn't take it any more. I had little to
no support from the people I desperately needed it from. Cue a long,
several-year battle with depression. I had taken a summer job shortly
after the rape, and I was forced to pretend like nothing was wrong
while I was at work. I suffered in silence. My support system ended
up coming from an online community I had been a part of for a year.
The support I received came from online and though it wasn't exactly
tangible, I am thankful for those people because they gave me
somewhere to turn when the physical people around me didn't.
Throughout those years, there were people who didn't understand,
people who told me to, “Get over it”. Depression isn't something
one can simply “get over”. For many people, it is a constant
struggle, and requires medication to function the way they should. I
was able to get through it without the assistance of medication, but
it wasn't without some awfully dark days.
Over the
course of my depression, several people passed away – a family
friend, a high school friend, my grandmother, two members of my
church, my cousin, and my father. Add to that, two relationships that
ended with me being cheated on. It was the perfect storm for a
prolonged bout with depression.
Mental
illness is real. Mental illness governs the way we live. The woman
with OCD washes her hands a hundred times a day because her brain
tells her to. The man with Capgras syndrome thinks his wife is an
imposter because his brain tells him she is. If I am told to do three
different things at once, or if I have two people talking to me at
the same time, I shut down because my brain cannot process it all at
once. I can only really do one thing at a time, and I am often pulled
in different directions. Friends who have ever gone out to dinner
with me know this first hand. I can be sitting in a restaurant fully
engaged in conversation, and then a song I like comes over the
speakers. I am suddenly drawn to that song for a few seconds. I do
come back to the conversation, but I may have forgotten where we were
in it. This is something my friends I laugh at and I have a sense of
humour when it comes to my ADD (which is wonderful), but mental
illness is a serious thing. It is not just “in our heads”. It is
real and we must deal with it on a daily basis.
It is
something we are all affected by. One in five of us will experience
some form of mental illness in our lifetime. I am willing to bet you
know, or knew, someone with autism, someone who is bi-polar, someone
with dementia or ADHD or depression. It isn't easy for both the
person with the disorder and the friend to deal with it. Many people
don't understand what is going on, and therefore, do not deal with it
the way it should be dealt with. Mental illness should not be taken
lightly; it is a serious issue. Mental illness should not be suffered
alone; it can be a damn scary thing, and a support system is vital.
This support system could be as simple as a friend to confide in, or
it could be a psychologist, or a psychiatrist.
Today,
Bell Canada, a television and telephone provider, is hosting “Let's
Talk”. Let's Talk is a campaign during which, money will be raised
to raise awareness for mental illness. For every text, every mobile
and long distance call made, every tweet using #BellLetsTalk, and
every Facebook share of their Bell Let's Talk image, Bell will donate
5¢
to mental health initiatives. This is an annual event, and has raised
thousands of dollars for the cause.
Some
facts regarding mental illness in Canada:
- 500,000 Canadians miss work due to a form of mental illness every day. (Mental Health Commission of Canada)
- Only 1 out of 5 children who need mental health services receives them. (CMHA)
- Right now, approximately 3 million Canadians are suffering from depression. (CMHA)
- 2/3 people suffer in silence because they fear judgement and rejection. (Canadian Medical Association)
- 27% of Canadians are fearful of being around people who suffer from serious mental illness (Canadian Medical Association)
- Only 49% of Canadians said they would socialize with a friend who has a serious mental illness. (Canadian Medical Association)
Mental
illness is a serious issue. There are days when my ADD causes me to
seem scatterbrained, and leaves me unable to concentrate on any one
things for very long. Though, I have not suffered from depression for
about a year now, and I have learned to appreciate the good, small
things in my life, I still have some cloudy days. These days cannot
be helped, but I continue on because it's the only thing I can do;
it's the only thing I know how to do.
If
you are a Bell Canada customer, please, send out those texts and
phone your cousin who lives on the opposite coast from you. If you
are not a Bell customer, flood your friends' twitter feeds with
#BellLetsTalk, share that Facebook image a thousand times over. 5
cents may not seem like a lot of money, but if enough of us get
together, we can raise enough to help those who need it.
