Wednesday, 24 December 2014
Saturday, 6 December 2014
What Is My Purpose In Life?
Do you ever wonder why things happen the way they do? Do you ever
wonder why you're here, what your purpose is in life? Do you ever
wonder if you're meant
to be here? Over the last few months, I've been giving these
questions quite a bit of thought.
Late
August, my family doctor retired, which meant my mom and I had to
find a new one. We did, and we picked up our medical charts to take
to this new doctor. Between our last appointment with our former
doctor, and our first appointment with our new doctor, we had some
time to look through our medical
charts. In doing so, we found out something neither one of us knew
about me. I was still born.
I'd
always known that my first few days of life had been touch-and-go.
My mom had an appointment for a non-stress test, and the doctors
discovered I was in distress. So, as a result, I was born a month
premature. I've also known that I had stopped breathing a couple of
days into life, and I spent 15 days in NICU, as well as that my development was slowed in part due to being
premature. (I'm
also aware that I didn't speak in full sentences until I was 4; I'm
making up for lost time, lol.) However,
I did not know that I actually hadn't been alive when I was born.
When
I was born, I was clinically dead.
This
knowledge sparked a few questions, the most prominent one being, "Why
did I survive?" Why
did I come back to life? Am
I meant to be here? Why? What is it that I am supposed to accomplish
in however many years I'm granted? Whose lives am I supposed to
enrich, if any?
I
have many acquaintances and people I see fairly regularly, but I have
very few close friends. It's been that way since I was a child,
primarily because I choose who I want to hang out with. The
people I make time to meet with are, in many ways, very special to
me. In
spite of this, there have been people who have come into my life I
feel like I was fated to meet for various reasons. A couple of
them got
me back into playing my guitar fairly regularly, another few have,
and continue to be, my inspiration for my trilogy and other novels,
and one other reminded me how much I used to love playing board
games. There are people with whom I feel the most at home, and the
most free to be me. They are the people who have enriched my life. If
they have enriched my life in their own big and little ways, have I
done the same for them? What is my purpose in their lives? Am I
fulfilling that purpose?
Those
who really know me, know that I can sometimes be completely off the
wall. I am really not
so different from say, Peter Pan, in that I am a kid at heart and
always have been. My difficult birth has provided me with a humourous
response of, "I didn't get enough oxygen as a baby" when
people look at me as though I've got two extra heads. On occasion,
that response becomes, "Ain't you glad I survived?" when
those same people can only smile and shake their heads at me. In
spite of this, it's something I have struggled
to grapple with since August, and I suspect that I will continue to
struggle
with it forever.
Why
did I survive on my birthday when thousands of other babies in the
same predicament may not have? What makes me so special? Why me?
In
thinking about it, I've come to realize that everyone has a purpose,
something they are meant to do. Everyone is meant to touch someone,
everyone is meant to influence someone else. Everyone has a path to
travel, even if that path is not clear, and those paths intersect for
a reason – some bad, some good.
With this in mind, everyone who has crossed my path has meant to. To those who have made me feel at home, I am forever grateful. To everyone to has crossed paths with me, thank you, for you have made my life what it is.
"One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time." ~ Hermann Hesse
Monday, 1 December 2014
The End of a Chapter
As of midnight December 1st, the 2014 season of National Novel Writing Month came to an end. My word count was a measly 18,860, but those words would not have happened were it not for the support I received from my fellow Wrimos. I have yet to win a NaNo, but maybe 2015 will be my year.
In spite of my horrible word count, I had an amazing ride. I was an event and chat room moderator, which was an awesome experience that both thrilled and terrified me. I was suddenly responsible for hosting events and keeping chat safe. I think I was successful.
I also got to hang out with people I have come to love dearly, people who have encouraged me, supported me, picked me up when I've fallen. These are people who are just as insane as I am and who have influenced my life for the better. Many have been there since my first NaNo in 2012, and have been my pillers, my rocks, my source of laughter, and a source of inspiration.
As I rode the bus home from the last NaNo write-in of 2014 with my trusted mascot, Perry (aka my NaNoWrimOwl), I thought back on the crazy month that had just passed. I had become a leader of sorts, I barely saw much of my home as I ventured out to coffee shops to get the words out. I spent a night in a church kind enough to let us use their facilities for an overnight writing session. I received the opportunity to have my manuscript ready by publisher, Simon & Schuster. But, most importantly, I had been reunited with friends I hadn't seen in far too long, including one I wish didn't live so far away.
The one thing to remember about NaNo, regardless of whether you win it or not, is, you become part of an international community of writers. You instantly acquire the support of everyone else who is doing this at the same time. Should you make it out to write-in events within your local community, you are met with people who are striving to reach the same goal you are, the same people who will give you a pat on the back for finishing regardless of what your word count ends up being.
To those who won: CONGRATULATIONS!
To those who didn't reach 50k: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have more words than you had in October! That's something to be proud of.
To EVERYONE: congratulations on everything you've written! You are awesome! Keep writing!
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